I have no plan with this post. It’s a very stream of consciousness post, kind of like most of my blog, even the poems. I won’t deny that I’m a twitter warrior (@Ruffoverlorde follow up) and I’ve been getting in some passionate conversations with some followers about friendships. What we expect from friends, what role they play in our lives, who merits the “best friend” label, who is a “ride or die” and what does that term even mean? These are not questions I’m going to completely tackle but i’m going to skim over them and lightly glaze on each. Now what is a friendship? In my personal opinion a friendship is a relationship between two people who have things in common and the relationship is mutualistic (meaning both parties benefit from each other). This is the ideal friendship because both of you are benefiting from each other. They may be different in some ways and maybe in drastic ways but you both benefit each other. Let’s say you’re a shy person but you have a friend who opens up conversations and is outgoing (that’s usually me) but he or she can get out of hand so you calm them or support them in other avenues that they are weaker in. This is the ideal. But we don’t live in an ideal world. There’s a ton of Symbiotic relationships where one party is clearly benefiting off the other. Think of that guy that always asks you for rides to the club, strip club and church. Think of that girl that borrows your dress but “lost” it and you’ll never see it again. Think of that person that’s always asking you to spot them on McD’s or coins for the bus. As a friend, as a good person, It’s not a problem for this to happen from time to time. It becomes toxic and alarming when it’s constant and not mutual. When you are willing to pick them up from the other side of the city and they won’t even lend you 10$ to pay your random phone bill. When you would literally die for them but they would leave you any second to hang with a more lively person. The thing I’ve noticed is that our generation has a lack of empathy. We fail to consider other people’s feelings and only see our point of view. “She didn’t text back, then fuck her” “He didn’t #wcw me, he must be cheating” “She didn’t come to my birthday party, she’s a snake” “He didn’t join my Fantasy Football league, he’s always been a hater”
We fail to recognize perspective. That everyone isn’t in the same world as we are. We don’t know their struggle and pain, but when we do we tend to diminish it and don’t see through their eyes. That’s why Symbiotic relationships are so common these days. One person clearly cares more about the other, but the other fails to recognize the effort, the dedication and takes it for granted. It is a lack of empathy. Plain and Simple. Now what is the adverse. When both parties deeply care about each other’s well being and are willing sacrifice themselves for the other. This is hard to achieve because we are constantly surrounded by people who are narcissistic. But when you find that person, and it should be one in dozen, cherish it. That is a “ride or die”. The person you call up at 3am ask them to bring a shovel and they’re at your house at 3:17am with a body bag. We often confuse those people with others that seem more desirable as friends. Those who are rich, popular, outgoing, exciting, entertaining or beautiful. We think their outward beauty reflects their inner character. This isn’t the case (in my experience). Someone who gives you 10$ and all they have in their bank account is 20$ is more valuable as a friend than a person who gives you 10$ but they have 200$ in the bank. Plain and simple. Perspective, Empathy and of course Mutualism. A Young Dolph line comes to mind “If a nigga aint workin he’s a fuckin leech”. Don’t surround yourself with leeches, they’ll suck you dry.
Just keeping it 8 more than 92