Lets get real, you’re not into football, you barely watch but you’re lost. But Thank GOD my blog exists and I’ll break down all you need to know for todays big game. First foremost I hate HATE the patriots for many reasons but the root of it is jealousy. If only my headass Ravens could play football…smfh. This is not objective at all, Patriots fans can disperse and go back to Hades. So let’s go Eagles we doin this for MEEK! Now lets start with the breakdown.

Philadelphia Eagles (National Football Conference)

  • Best team in the NFC #1 seed with a 13-3 record
  • Second year head coach Doug Pederson’s first SB appearance
  • One of the best defenses in the league
  • The “Underdogs”
  • douche fans, terrible city, im tryna visit it and get a cheese steak


  •  FLETCHER COX (91) – Besides having the funniest last name. Mr. Cox will plug up any gap (LMFAO plz read that again). His calf is injured the scumbag Pats will cut block him. *he might not play…Injury Reserve*
  • MALCOLM JENKINS (27) – If Cocks x can put pressure on the LINE, Brady (12) is a human so he will make mistakes. Jenkins will take that to the house. Pick-6.
  • CHRIS LONG (56) – Won with the Pats last year, prob does coke and will fight someone. Expect a strip sack, he is the spirit of the team
  • JASON PETERS (71) – Pro Bowler, he’s 6’4 and 328 pounds…ya try passing that dude….
  • JASON KELCE- (62) One of the best Centers in the league Pro Bowler. He will protect #9 , related to our favorite white boy TE
  • NICK “how tf did I get here?” Foles (9) – if he throws 2 INT (interceptions) or more, Eagles lose
  • Will Smith – his face and IG after the Eagles win (hopefully)
  • Doug Peterson – his calm and resolve when the Pats make a comeback…
  • Carson Wentz – “you da real MVP” – Kevin Durant

*bonus: check how Zack Ertz (86) is defended. If homie gets freed up he will CRUSH

New England Patriots (American Football Conference)

  • C’mon dawg….even your mom knows they’re great. Do I need to kiss their ass anymore?


  • Tom Brady (12) – The best Quarterback of all time. He will not be the reason they lose. He will make a comeback in the fourth quarter. Might throw one INT. But he will be flawless…as…always… *stabs myself*
  • Rex Burkhead (34) He is their best running back. He will do work. Catching a lot of balls
  • Dion Lewis (33) He will decide the game. If he plays trash…especially in the 4th quarter, they lose the game.
  • Chris Hogan (15) they didn’t use him much, Dude can catch everything (not STDs doe). Fast fast boi. He catches 11 balls for 100+ yards
  • TheBandwagons – watch…they’re everywhere, they are herpes

Match up to watch: Gronkowski (87) vs Malcolm Jenkins (27)


It doesn’t matter what I predict. Patriots have already won. They symbolize perfection, they are in an era of untouchable excellence, they have reached sports immortality and my blog will not change that. This game is gonna be tight and great.  Realistic Prediction: 32-28 Patriots win….

The ideal prediction: 21-20 Eagles win!!!!!


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