Feel some ways

Feel some ways

                      faded and  leaning on the toilet seat

i feel some ways

failing at my midterm test

i feel some ways

finally seeing you in that exam room

i felt some way

facing my mortality even though i want you eternally

i feel some ways

                                                           falling for you so suddenly

i feel so scared



Why everyone has anxiety

Why everyone has anxiety

I’m not a psychologist, don’t quote me as such. But I have thoughts and ideas since you’re here i’m assuming you want to hear em so let’s spill the beans. On a macro level I’ve noticed that there’s a rise in mental health issues but on a more micro level among my friends I’ve learned that there’s a Huuuuuug *Trump voice* rise in anxiety. I’m not here to pull stats out of my ass and pretend that i’ve done extensive research, you can go read some other blog or textbook for that. As a curious person I decided: why not ask people why anxiety is on the rise and I even talked to some of my friends that go through it. I was able to have a few conversations and even run a poll asking people “why is there a rise in anxiety?” I came to a weird yet strangely obvious answer, both linked to the idea of perfection…social media and family dynamics. Yes those are the 2 main reasons everyone is anxious. I hope some sociology and psychology majors are doing research on these two factors because it’s clear as hell.

For Social media it makes all kinds of sense…just to give y’all a prefix, I’m not talking about generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) cause you need a doc to give that title i’m talking about day to day anxiety that would and could be seen as “normal”. Social media makes sense (i’ve written several times about it) because every day we try to put out an image of the best version of ourselves and send an illusion of perfection. People literally delete entire galleries of pictures because of a low amount of likes…its pathetic, but it contributes to the idea that “if i’m not perfect, i’m not needed”. You understand what kind of pressure and stress that puts on someone? When you look at another IG pic of someone’s perfect relationship, vacation and adventures you feel some type of way. Self doubt, perfectionism, self-conscious, excessive worry about how you’re perceived within the platform you express yourself in…all of those are signs of anxiety. When everyones life looks fuckin blessed what are you gonna do? Compare and feel anxious about your own.

With the poll I did, I found that family dynamics was the second highest reason why our generation is more anxious, this surprised me. So I went into deep thought and looked at reasons why this was picked…For the most part, my friends answered the poll. Most of my friends have divorce in their family (including me) so the family dynamic is not “typical” or “normal” whatever the hell normal means nowadays. Then it lead me to think: what is a normal family dynamic? Especially in Canada, and even more among minorities (most of my friends aren’t white). I found out that common law marriages are on the rise in Canada, second marriages are common and the nuclear family prototype is slowly being phased out. How does this cause anxiety? Cause we live in a society where what we see represented as “perfect”, the wife, husband and kids prototype isn’t a reality! How would you feel if everyday they ask you about your father and you aint seen that man in 16 years? How would you feel if they asked about your biological parents but you’ve been adopted? How would you feel about having step siblings you hate or have never even meet? Anxious. The media and society has lied to us and pressed us on the idea of “perfection” that doesn’t exist in the world we live in.

Those are the reasons everyone has anxiety.

The most important lesson (from the Chyna/Rob saga)

The most important lesson (from the Chyna/Rob saga)

The finesse was legendary it was one for the ages. I’m not one to engage in gossip or plunge myself into stupid non relevant things that take away my time and attention…Jk I waste hella time on social media. Yes, i have time for this fuckery. So when you crawl out of this rock you’ve been hiding underneath (shout out Patrick Star) I’ll summarize the story. A stupid guy called Rob Kardashian decided to date and impregnate a former stripper who is the baby mother of her sister’s boyfriend, the now infamous Blac Chyna. To be perfectly clear, he decided to date HIS SISTER’S BOYFRIEND’S BABY MAMA, yes this is some soap opera shit. Its literally like drinking bleach and expecting your vital organs to metabolize it into regular yellow piss instead of killing you! So here is Rob a fat sloppy depressed guy who finds happiness in a woman who’s whole career revolves around having sex and babies with rich men. She is a prostitute without the label (some could say that’s a good thing). So Eienstein Kardashian in his infinite wisdom found out that Chyna was playing him like the Mask Off flute. Literally fucking dudes in the house he bought letting her side dudes pipe her out like a plumber in his versace robe, using his cars, jewelry and everything else. Rob’s twitter basically detailed all of this and I don’t have the patience to recount a bitter mans L (p.s. Revenge porn aint cool, but Chyna’s kitty is surprisingly nice). Men coming in and out of her house, multiple times a day but that had me thinking…what overarching lesson can we learn from this and why does this matter?

In my extensive research (lol), I have come to learn the common day perception of a thot has been evolving. Not long ago I put up a poll on twitter and the question was: a nineteen year old with twenty sexual partners, is she a thot? To my surprise 60% voted no, this shows a major cultural shift. I say that to say this: Chyna is not the one to be blamed in this scenario. She is not innocent by any means but she was doing what was in her nature, some women are more sexual than others and are willing to do more with many men. You can’t expect a fish to fly like an eagle or a burger to be as healthy as an orange. My award for the biggest L goes to Rob, with his child being a close second. And that is the lesson to learn here, you can’t be surprised when people are what they have shown themselves to be. You can’t be shocked when someone acts like a thot (that hoe over there) with her ex’s and then turns out to be one with you. You can’t be stunned when a cheater continues to cheat. It’s in their nature. This goes to my main message, people will show you who they are, in their past and present actions. When you see someone’s true colors, believe them! To try to change someone at their core is laughable. Buy them a lambo, move them out the hood, vote them president, it doesn’t matter they’re going to be who they were from the jump. I know love is blind but it shouldn’t be ignorant. Rob catch this L, you have 18 years to deal with this bullshit soup you cooked yourself in.

Y’all keep Dream Kardashian in y’all prayers.

More blogs on the way.

Poetry On People: M.M.

Mostly appreciated your time spent

our time came and it went

molded and folded into something strange

my feelings for you couldn’t arrange

the disaster that was my life when you came in

like trash or garbage, I was dirty like all sins

you looked at my past and thought

this fuck boy always gon be a thot

tried to pretend to forget you, just moving by

but no bye by me cause i was missing she

MM no G, you might be rick ross thick

in other eyes fat, but you were a down ass chick

held me down when things got messy

remember that night i came over looking dressy?

A fly guy with a blue tie after that prom

who you were as a person always turned me on

sleepovers on sleepovers but you slept on me

you were seasonal MM and I was caged in you

I broke you, then broke free from you

Kristine Leahy represents what’s wrong with Sports (and most TV) media

Kristine Leahy represents what’s wrong with Sports (and most TV) media

Y’all know how I do, I love LaVar Ball and just to keep it a buck: this post will enrage people but…not those with common sense. If you’re not a sports fan or a sports media fan you can skip this one and go suck ya modda! So let me give you the scoop on what’s going on: On fox sports 1 Collin Cowherd hosts his sports radio/TV show with his co-host Kristine Leahy. To give you context, when the whole LaVar being interviewed on every sports media platform for view  Kristine was a huge critic of him. You can say what you want about someone as a person, as a businessman or as a citizen in general but here’s a line you don’t cross: criticizing someone’s parenting in PUBLIC! On multiple occasions Leahy not only criticized she straight up bashed how LaVar raised his three (soon to be) college educated and potentially multi-millionaire black sons. Yes I’m bringing race into this cause this shit matters! Do you understand how rare and blessed these boys are to have a black father active in their life ? Willing to take the brunt insults from media, have ultimate belief in his boys and lead them from being drug addicts, dealers, gang-bangers or pure wastes to society? Shit…guess Leahy didn’t. Her main headass argument which others like Stephen stupidA.ss Smith repeated “he’s ruining his sons career before it even starts”. In this hot take generation that’s a trash and generic take but Leahy never treated it like a take she took it 100% serious and kept repeating it like the chorus of Mask Off and like that infectious tune it became overplayed and annoying as shit.

Here’s the problem with most media today: too narrow sighted, they ignore the bigger picture. Where executives of these shows want drama clickbait worthy viral confrontational irruptions to raise their viewership…its terrible. Well these FS1 producers got exactly what they wished for…LaVar came to The Herd (Collin’s show) and had one of the most real/pathetic arguments of all time. Ball was on his promo run for the ZO2s then Leahy, who has criticized the “look” of Big Baller Brand, asks how much ZO’s have been sold and this is where the magic begins. Peep the video here . I saw nothing wrong with LaVar standing up for himself against someone who has literally spent months trashing him as a person and a father! Here we steep into the racial and sexist aspects…Kristine a white women quickly takes LaVar’s standing for himself as a threat. It’s pathetic and common as hell…where the white woman pretends or exaggerates their acts of a black man (To Kill a Mocking Bird and Emmit Till). First you diss his parenting style, then you insinuate he was threatening you and here starts the demonization of the black man. She also claimed that because Big Baller Brand doesn’t market to women LaVar is clearly sexist, fuckin pathetic. Here’s an important lesson in life Everything isn’t for everybody, i’m not gonna go to Sirens to buy a romper cause that aint for me (hopefully they got Romphims). BBB isn’t marketed for women, point blank period.

With all of this being said LaVar was right in ignoring her, not giving her eye contact, telling her to “Stay in her lane” and telling her that she’s gonna get what is coming for her (Karma for you dummies that gon think this blog post is sexist). This will not ruin LaVar, this won’t ruin Leahy but it will open a bigger conversation about how media is messing up yet again. This video is important because it displays why we the people are fed up with this whole stupid media system that is obsessed with rising and ruining people that don’t fit in their “picture”. Where black people (especially men) are quick to be demonized and showed to be dumb, hyper aggressive and ignorant. Where spin matters more than context. Where the media machine and elites will find a way to ruin black outliers. Where uncle toms (Jason Whitlock) will bash their own and ignore the bigger picture. Why do I love LaVar? Because he’s the cog in this dent, he’s literally fighting the machine…and that’s real talk.

P.S. shout out Charlamagne tha God (@cthagod) and his donkey of the day for this post.

Why I hate this year’s NBA season

Why I hate this year’s NBA season

Honestly the biggest and most interesting headline in this NBA season is LaVar Ball…damn no homo my nigga but I love LAVAR BALL! If I wasn’t all every level of broke I’d cop the ZO2’s and that’s word to my mama. But let me speak some facts for ya headtop, this whole opinion about the 2017 NBA season being trash revolves around the beautiful article by Adam Caparell where he discusses the crazy amount of blowouts this year. As an intermediate basketball fan I look at the regular season the same way I look at broccoli, ya its good but is it enjoyable…no, hell nah. Then I look at the playoffs like broccoli soup with spice on it, fuckin blessed, but this playoff season has been on some spoiled veggie shit. I’m just being honest, without counting the recent games in the playoffs there have been about 20 blowouts out of 60+ games…dawg that’s atrocious.

Fam games are decided in the first and second quarter, when Golden State or the Cavs take a commanding 15 point lead it doesn’t matter wtf the other team does. This lack of depth and entertainment has ruined this NBA season and playoffs. Bruh when mans are eating wings that are too spicy for my tongue to properly digest, i’m trying to watch a competitive game not a gah damn background exhibition…I can watch that at my local YMCA. Deep in the depths of my crazy gambling mind I was praying for Spurs vs. Raptors in the finals…yes I’m that crazy. The sad thing is most people are looked at as dummies if they don’t pick Cavs vs GSW in the finals…we have accepted the trash that is 2017 NBA basketball. On my mama I’d rather watch an NHL game than see another series lead to a sweep (looking at you Boston). Long story short, super-teams are ruining the league and I can’t wait till the Warriors collapse.

Sports at the end of the day is supposed to entertain not drain.

Social media and tech aren’t the reason you’re lonely

Social media and tech aren’t the reason you’re lonely

For the most part people have come to the belief that social media and tech have isolated us and made us more lonely, but for the most part they’re wrong. Everyone who says that social media has made us as a people more lonely makes the easy correlation between more time on the screen ruining face to face interactions. While I agree with that previous statement I think it’s really closed minded fam, how you lonely when you have multiple people in your phone you can hit up? Or…maybe that’s the reason we are lonely…wait hold the fuck up!?! YUP that’s the answer! In sociological theory there’s the concept of Urban Solitude and if you have a dictionary (or google) you’ll see that it basically means that you’re lonely within a big city. That’s ironic as fuck but trust me g it makes the most sense.

In the history of humanity the concept of big cities or even the formation of them has been extremely rare or non existent. Now we have cities that are 1mill up to 24 million in Shanghai, we live in the world of Urban Solitude. If you look at human history its very rare to find societies and countries that had humongous populations! Farm towns and small villages were common, now the script is flipped like pancakes. We are so connected with tech, social media and the world yet we can’t connect to our neighbors (and we got a shit ton of em). This time and era of solitude is why our generation and most people feel so lonely. If you’re bored look up Dunbar’s number and you’ll understand that humans have a cap and a limit on social relationships, that means those 1000 “friends” of FB or 2k followers on IG are contributing to your loneliness. Aint that a bitch?

We tend to go for the easy answer when it comes to big questions, loneliness is one of the biggest ones out there: why am I alone? The answer is easy: we’re all alone because we are always together. An easy way to think of this is when you’re in a class of 150 students and a class of 32, you’ll most likely make friends and meaningful connections in the smaller class than the bigger one. Why? Because that is human nature.




btw listen to My Love by Wale feat Dua and Wizkid