Week 7 in two sentences or less, get ready for some SPICY takes

Week 7 in two sentences or less, get ready for some SPICY takes

If you haven’t been following, since Week 3 of the NFL season I’ve been predicting games. Click here for my most recent picks, so far I’m 43-30-2 (about 57% right) and as we get to November/December I will be raise that to 70%!

Thursday Night Football

  • Chiefs vs Broncos: Kansas City is not the all-star team we thought it was, and that’s because of their run defense. Phillip Lindsay is going to have a MAJOR game in this close Broncos shock the league 24-21

Sunday Game Day

  • Raiders vs Packers: This is a “Game of the Week” matchup and trust me Refs will decide it…for the Raiders. 21-14
  • Rams vs Falcons: Todd Gurley will decide this game, because that Falcons D can not stop a single Receiver in this league. Cooper Kupp will put in work, 35-30 Rams
  • 49ers vs Redskins: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 17-7 San Fran
  • Texans vs Colts: A potential AFC playoff match up, expect a strong Jacoby Brisette game with T.Y. Hilton back in the line up. But Houston is in a zone, 27-14 Texans
  • Vikings vs Lions: Two strong NFC contenders with suspect Elite QBs I expect the Lions to take this after a rigged stupid Monday Night Football, 31-28 Detroit.
  • Jags vs Bengals: Leonard Fournette is gonna eat up these Cincy Linebackers, expect a blowout 41-7 Jags.
  • Cardinals vs Giants: Let’s be real, Daniel Jones can’t even smell Kyler Murray’s jock strap (pause)…I hate both Defences but one of them has Patrick Peterson, one of the best Cornerbacks of all time. 18-3 Cards.
  • Dolphins vs Bills: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH y’all stupid…24-14 Bills.
  • Chargers vs Titans: Do you really trust Ryan Tannahill? Why are we even asking that question in 2019? 21-18 Chargers.
  • Ravens vs Seahawks: This is the Game of the Week and here’s why…Seahawks are on a run and the Ravens just added Marcus Peters with Earl Thomas returning for a revenge game. Expect a battle, expect Overtime, expect Interceptions and expect a tight Ravens win 32-30
  • Saints vs Bears: We can stop doubting Teddy Bridgewater but we can never doubt that Bears D…and that’s why I see Chicago taking this 14-7.

Sunday Night Football

  • Eagles vs Cowboys: If Amari Cooper ain’t playing, the Eagles molly wop the failing Cowboys: 40-28 Philly…yup Carson Wentz is going BRAZY!

Monday Night Football

  • Jets vs Patriots: Hot take alert, Hot take alert…Jets win this by a field goal…why? Sam Darnold makes this a playoff team and that’s fax, no printer…CJ Mosley is back in the line up and Le’Veon Bell has always giving NE problems. 32-31 J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets
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Last week was bad…real bad for my predictions but Will I stop? NAH! Week 6 in 2 sentences or less.

Last week was bad…real bad for my predictions but Will I stop? NAH! Week 6 in 2 sentences or less.

With a record of 35-24-2 (I didn’t predict 2 games) I want to change the narrative…my predictions are usually right! But now that teams have a month of film and have played about 4 games we know way more and we have a better view of what the NFL landscape is. Last week I went 7-7 on predictions but TRUST ME…this week I know Exactly who wins and who looses.

Thursday Night Football

  • Giants vs Pats: We gotta keep it real…the Pats are slipping. With holes in the defence getting exposed and Brady playing inconsistent, they miiiiight lose…but they won’t. 33-20!

Sunday Game Day

  • Bucs vs Panthers: We saw McCaffery limping in the 4th but he’s a clear MVP candidate, but on the other side of the ball is a Baller called Shaq Barret with a surprisingly good Defense. Bucs with a surprise nail biter 28-26
  • Redskins vs Dolphins: The worst game of the season…yes I called it. Redskins 14-7
  • Saints vs Jags: Mincew Magic meets Teddy Two Gloves, this will be a good battle but the Saints are in a different Solar System! 38-30
  • Bengals vs Ravens: Cincinnati is an ugly city with an ugly team and probably ugly women. Ravens clean up 40-21
  • Seahawks vs Browns: Baker Mayfield is not a good QB, he is overrated and takes WAYYY too many risks. Expect 3 sacks from Jadevoen Clowney after this Hawks win 31-24. 
  • Eagles vs Vikings: Can we acknowledge that the Eagles are for real? The Vikings look like SB contenders one week then a 6-10 team the next…Philly cleans up 24-18.
  • Texans vs Chiefs: The way to beat Mahomes is to keep him off the field, the Colts showed us…but can the Texans repeat that strategy? Yes yes they can, 28-24 Houston.
  • Falcons vs Cardinals: Kylar Murray is elite…as long as he is protected! The Cars O line has to be in check or they lose this one…and they will, 18-14 Atlanta.
  • 49ers vs Rams: We all thought the 49ers were Cap, and we ain’t talking Marvel. But that Defence showed up and showed out, they stay undefeated in a tight one 35-32 San Fran.
  • Titans vs Broncos: Ugly game…21-18 Titans. Just gross…
  • Cowboys vs Jets: I hate the Cowboys and seeing them fail activates my loins. Dallas wins 35-7…its the Jets bruh…c’Mon!

Sunday Night Football

  • Steelers vs Chargers: With a 3rd string QB, inconsistent run game and a weird Secondary, this Pittsburg team should PRAY for a high draft pick in 2020 cause they are UGLY. Chargers sweep em’ 33-14.

Monday Night Football

  • Lions vs Packers: This league is weird, why the hell are the Lions so good? It makes no sense, but I know one thing that does…Aaron…JONES! Packers survive the 45-42 shootout.

THE BIG PANDA PREVIEW!!!!

THE BIG PANDA PREVIEW!!!!

As the Panda game rolls through we all have teams to cheer for but do we know the stats? Who got the edge? I gotchu!

  1. Offense

Out of both teams, the Geegees have a better offense. Carleton stands a 2-3 record with close loses yet strong wins. I’d give the edge to the 3-2 Geegess to stir this ship but the Ravens run game is insane!

Player to watch: Nathan Carter #31 Carleton (Running Back)

2. Defense

The best way to weigh defenses is looking at offense, yes its weird but its modern football. I’d give the edge to Carleton…after uOttawa’s bad loss vs Guelph it makes you wonder…is our D proper?

Player to watch: Cody Cranston #27 uOttawa (Safetry/Cornerback)

3. Special Teams

Mark my word…1 or 2 special teams plays will decide this game! Because that’s how football works…it will be weird, awkward but a big win.

Player to watch: Kalem Beaver #87 uOttawa (Wide Out/Return Specialist)

Overall review

I take Carleton…they always find a way to win. 33-31 Ravens

Week 5 is going to be the wildest weekend of 2019! My predictions in 2 sentences OR LESS

Week 5 is going to be the wildest weekend of 2019! My predictions in 2 sentences OR LESS

From last week till now I am 28-17-1 from Win-Lose-Tie throughout the season, so its time to bless you with my quick analysis of NFL Week 5.

Thursday Night Football (Los Angeles Rams vs Seattle Seahawks)

  • NOT a prediction but im impressed by Russ! 4TDs for 290 yards is no joke, I’m putting them above the Buccs and Rams so far.

Sunday

  • Jets vs Eagles is the game we expect…24-14 Eagles..
  • Jags vs Panthers could be fun but Kyle Allen is predictable, and I trust the Jags linebackers more than Carolinas. Slight win for Carolina 33-30
  • Bucs are beating the Saints, yup you don’t want the hard truth but the Buccs are FOR REAL! 45-25 Buccs
  • Lets keep it real, Daniel Jones has a better career than Kirk Cousins so far and this won’t change. An elite O line vs a Keesum lead offense…you know the vibes.
  • Falcons should tank because their D can’t a squirell from crossing the street…this season is done 23-7 Texans.
  • I can’t trust the Colts and this means its….”Mariota Time”? 16-12
  • Kyler Murray needs an O line…real bad but they’ll flop as always. 21-7 Bengals
  • Pats shit on these Redskins 42-28
  • My Ravens mollywop these bum Steelers…there’s no chemistry on this tension, so there’s big tension 24-21
  • I’d stick with the Bears in this hard  NFC fight, the Raiders are coming up but I can’t see the Bears letting 30+ happen at the crib.
  • Yes…I’m calling it, Broncos come from behind win. With 3 seasons of trash luck, this is a March Madness hit. Broncos win
  • Cowboys are in the head seat but let’s keep it real, Aaron Rodgers is a BEAST! Packers take this 18-14

Sunday Night

  • I’d love to give the Chiefs that nod but Mahomes is in GOD mode. KC can wait, Mahomes and the Chiefs take it 35-20

Monday night 

  • Pure JOY! Baker seems made for this moment. Like a weird kid getting signed up for Basketball practice. Sounds good, your message is appreciated. Cleveland wins

My week 4 picks in 2 sentences or less

My week 4 picks in 2 sentences or less

Here are my predictions last week, I had 10 correct, 5 wrong and 1 game I didn’t pick (Falcons vs Colts). So far I’m 10-5-1 we can stop this “trash predictions” narrative right now!

Thursday Night Football

Eagles vs Packers

  • Interesting match up but kind of predictable, the undefeated Packers are in a zone. Especially their Defense, they won’t slow down 20-17 Greenbay

Sunday Gameday

Redskins vs Giants

  • This should be the Dwyane Haskins vs Daniel Jones battle…but It won’t be, the Redskins will finally get their first Win. 33-27 Redskins

Chiefs vs Lions

  • A battle of the Undefeated, who woulda guessed the Lions would be here in week 4…but we know how this one goes…45-27 KC

Titans vs Falcons

  • One of the most confusing match ups…both teams trying their best to go 9-7 but I trust the Titans to take this one. Their D is elite 27-21

Browns vs Ravens

  • Big Divisional match up but with David Njoku out and the Browns secondary looking suspect, Lamar Jackon is gon EATTT! Ravens 40-20

Raiders vs Colts

  • Da RAIIIIDERS…are flops. 24-14 Colts clean em up

Patriots vs Bills *possible game of the week*

  • Here’s my bold prediction of the week…Bills take this by a field goal, why? Their coaching and Defense has been elite this year and it feels like a revenge game 21-20

Panthers vs Texans

  • Kyle Allen will have a good day, but the Panthers won’t win. 27-14 Houston

Chargers vs Dolphins

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 33-7 Chargers

Bucs vs Rams

  • I smell another upset…the Bucks have a defensive player of the year candidate (Shaq Barrett) and Mike Evans is playing like a DAWG. 35-32

Seahawks vs Cardinals

  • Cardinals are in for another slap…that O line is gonna get Kyler killed…28-21 Seattle

Vikings vs Bears *Game of the Week*

  • I don’t believe in Trubisky or Cousins…but I LOVE both defenses, expect a low scoring, run heavy, hella turnover, high penalty defensive game. 21-17 Da Bears

Jaguars vs Broncos

  • This game is gonna be pathetic…I expect major turnovers and sloppy Offensive play…14-7 Jags…hoping to see Jalen Ramsey lowkey.

Cowboys vs Saints

  • I hate the Cowboys but the facts is the facts…they’re playing ELITE football BUT I see a nail bitter and a field goal loss to the Saints. 23-22 WHO DAT

Bengals vs Steelers

  • Hardest game to predict cause both teams are complete trash, on every level. Bengals 14-3

 

 

Every week 3 NFL prediction in 2 sentences or LESS!!!

Every week 3 NFL prediction in 2 sentences or LESS!!!

Thursday Night Football

Jaguars vs Titans

  • This is ridiculously easy…Titans win this by a touchdown, expect a sloppy, defensive, weird game, with a stupid amount of penalties. 18-12 Titans

Sunday

Dolphins vs Cowboys

  • Do y’all really need a prediction? 40-7 Dallas, Dak has another MVP game.

Bengals vs Bills

  • Don’t sleep on the Bills, with a stronger offense than last year and a refreshing D they are looking like a Wild Card team. 22-15 Bills

Lions vs Eagles

  • I have no idea how the Lions are undefeated but I have an idea of who’s handing them their first L. 14-7 Eagles , expect a defensive, high penalty, boring game.

Jets vs Patriots

  • HAHAHAHA! 38-7 Pats

Raiders vs Vikings

  • Two underachieving teams battling for 3rd place in their division, I expect a surprising shootout. Starting the season 1-2 is a bad look and that’s what the Raiders are…a bad look. 24-21 Vikings

Ravens vs Chiefs *Game of the week*

  • Shootout CITY biiiihhhh, this game will total 70+ points but there’s one defense that I can trust on this field…the one that has Earl Thomas. 48-42 Ravens

Broncos vs Packers

  • The game is won in the trenches…or whichever team that DOESN’T have Joe Flacco. Packers continue dominating 28-21 Green Bay

Panthers vs Cardinals

  • Air Raid Kingsbury can get TDs but his O Line and Defense can’t stop a turtle on a slow day. Expect a big day from McCaffery , Cam and Greg Olsen 32-28 Panthers

Giants vs Buccaneers

  • I don’t believe in Daniel Jones, and that suspect Secondary. This game is going to be terrible, maybe the worst of the week. 7-3 Bucs

Saints vs Seahawks

  • If Brees was healthy this would be game of the week but he’s not, so y’all know wussup. 24-7 Seahawks

Texans vs Chargers

  • Watson is a winner it’s in his DNA and when this game goes to a field goal in the 4th quarter and the Chargers kicker lines up, we all know wussup. 20-17 Texans

Steelers vs 49ers

  • Big Ben is out, 9ers are on a roll and Mason Cosby is unproven. We know wussup. 32-14 49ers

Sunday Night Football

Rams vs Browns

  • All 3 of y’all Brown fans can calm down…beating the Jets means Nothing! You better pray Aaron Donald is hurt because this will be ugly. 40-28 Rams

Monday Night Football

Bears vs Redskins

  • Expect Josh Norman to have 2 picks and Adrian Peterson to have another 100 yard game…but expect a fat L too. 30-28 Bears game winning FG again.

 

 

3 reasons why the Cleveland Browns will be Brown

3 reasons why the Cleveland Browns will be Brown

Yup the Browns look beautiful, as a Ravens fan I HATE THIS! But as a football fan my d*ck is hard as a rock (no homo)! The New York Giants are in Arizona Cardinals “WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE N*GGAS???” territory. When you trade OBJ, the 3rd best Wide Receiver on this planet and top 15 player in the league for pennies you know something’s wrong. Before y’all jump on this Browns Bandwagon here are 3 reasons why the Browns will be Brown.

  1. Freddie Kitchens : Folks wanna pretend that football is just about players…NOPE! No it isn’t. Maybe in the 90s and early 2000s but the modern NFL is about COACHING, this is why the same coaches make the playoffs and Super Bowl. Fam who tf is Freddie Kitchens? I literally had to google him two minutes ago. He hasn’t proven a single thing in this league and comes from a weak coaching tree. Take this in: Since Bill Belichick was fired in 1994 the Browns have had 11 different coaches ! I wouldn’t be surprised if Kitchens joins this list of former coaches
  2. Chemistry: Sports media is stupid, ESPN and Fox Sports want you to think that OBJ, Jarvis and Baker are going to take over the league but they casually forget that this team has 50 other players. They forget that this team had Josh Gordon (who is better than Odell when healthy and focused), they forget that Jabrill Peppers was going into his prime and had pro-bowl talent, they forget that football demands excellence on all sides of the ball to WIN!!! Ask Kansas City, this league is not ALL OFFENSE. Chemistry on Defense, Offense and Special teams will play a MAJOR role!
  3. History: Someone said “to know the future you must look to the past” and the past tells me that Cleveland Sucks, and they will continue to suck. Freddie Kitchens ain’t Sean McVay, Baker Mayfield isn’t Patrick Mahomes and Odell is not Khalil Mack (a franchise shifting player). This team is Fast and Furious, fun to watch but will never win an Oscar. This team is casual sex, Fun at night but regretful in the morning. This team is the Cleveland fuckin Browns and they will be Brown.