As much as I’d like to say “I’m always right” I can’t, because I’m not. When I posted the #MeToo post I received quick hate, I expected it. What I didn’t expect is the views of some of my friends, calling me out for being closed minded and dumb. Here’s the curse of having smart friends, they’ll take time to academically COOK your ass, here is my friend’s response to my original post. I loved it and I know you will too 🙂
” Let me just start by saying that I’m addressing the points that I disagree with.
First, I don’t agree that #MeToo is simply a men’s issue and that the hashtag should change to #BeBetter. The #BeBetter hashtag, I feel take away an important part of the #MeToo movement and it oversimplifies the movement. The #MeToo was originally to show how prevalent sexual harassment and sexual assault are within our society, without necessarily telling your story and feeling as though you are not alone. In my opinion, #MeToo is a movement that aims to resist the system that has historically re-victimized and stigmatized women for speaking out against their abuse and harassment. By re-victimization, I mean that when women tell their stories, for example in a courtroom, the role of the defence lawyer is to minimize what has happened to the woman and to discredit her. By stigmatize, I mean that a label is automatically attached to the women who speak out. They are often held responsible for their own victimization (victim blaming: i.e. what were you wearing, what did you say, what did you do etc.) and it affects their reputation (i.e. some of the Weinstein accusors were blacklisted). These are often linked to the reasons why women often don’t speak out until years later, since they may feel embarrassed, or in a workplace environment, they may fear that nothing will happen (Exhibit A: Larry Nassar). So in my opinion, the #MeToo give women a voice that under some circumstances would be silent. For any major issue, I think that it’s important to denounce the problem first and then try to find to find a solution. That’s exactly what #MeToo has done: denounce the problem.
Second, when it comes to sexual harassment, it for sure means something different for every woman. It’s that line where women feel uncomfortable with certain interactions. This links with my third point that yes I agree that little boys should be taught better, but so should little girl. One of the major problems I think is that when women speak about their sexuality, they are often shamed for it. So, I think it could be difficult for a woman to “check” a guy about her boundaries. A simple example: a girl gives a guy the wrong number or simply never answers the guy’s text. Why can’t the girl say I’m not interested? It could be that she’s scared because if she refuses the guy might become aggressive or persistent. Another issue is that girls are taught: Oh boys will be boys in order to render certain behaviours acceptable. The #MeToo movement through the sharing of personal stories has, in my opinion, given women a label that they can use for situations that they didn’t realize was sexual harassment, because “boys will be boys”, even though it made them uncomfortable. So I think that an equal effort should be made in changing how little girls and boys are raised. ”
First off I will acknowledge some important points. I’m a man, I have privilege that I’m aware of, I’m also a black man so my views are different from most. I’m a brother, a son and have multiple layers so before y’all come at me Imma make it clear that these opinions are my own. You can (and will) disagree and I expect you to. Now let’s get to the topic it. Over the past month we have seen sexual assaults, harassment, molestation and other disgusting allegations towards men in media (music, movies, journalism, etc.). This moved to the #MeToo movement where women raised their voices telling their honest raw stories about abuse. When I first saw the Harvey Weinstean accusations I thought this was bullshit, for real I saw it as Crosby 2.0 but worse. I was thinking bruh, these women want to finesse the pockets of this powerful man they want to sue the hell out of this guys and make money. A month later, I still think it’s bullshit but I came to the conclusion that this is a men’s issue and I’ll explain why. Continue reading “#MeToo (A male point of view)”