Y’all missed me? I missed you too. Yesterday I decided to waste about 12 hours of my life to watch a show that I find stupid. Welcome to 2024. A few years ago I wrote about the dumb concept “Love Is Blind” presents, but I found it entertaining. Why? Because it further clarified what my thoughts are on love, companionship, marriage, race and human nature within the context of modern dating. I watched season 6, I wrote notes, I have re-read my notes and I have come to a different conclusion than last time: there are NO VICTIMS, just volunteers. As you read this post, I will break down each couple that made it out of the pods and how they volunteered for their success and failure. Will we learn something? Probably not, but you’re already here so you might as well keep reading. This goes without saying but…spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.
THIS IS SPOILERS!!! DO NOT READ FURTHER WITHOUT FULLY WATCHING THE SHOW!!!
Read more: Love is Blind season 6 had NO VICTIMS, just volunteers !!!Kenneth and Brittany
This was an odd coupling from the start but when you look at the values of both of them (Christianity and educators) you would think this is perfect. On paper they are the right fit, but body language is a real thing and when they first met it was clear that Ken wasn’t feeling shordy. Brittany’s persistence to keep the engagement was volunteering. Ken at least had the balls to end things early, which was kind but it ultimately proved that love is not blind at all. The added layer was race and to Ken this mattered a lot more than he said, so he chose not to volunteer/participate. He rejected the premise of the show. This is unfair to Brittany, who seemed genuine in her approach and loved Ken for the man he was in the pods.
Jeremey and Laura
From my POV Laura is the second most toxic person on this show because she is delusions (or delulu as the kids say). In this case, she meet Jeremey in the pods when he had the choice between her and Sarah-Anne. She was on the fence about him but ultimately made the decision to be with him, a secondary theme presents itself; love is a choice. Laura chooses dysfunction and conflict, she loves drama this is why she tells Jessica about Chelsea and Jimmy. A love triangle that has nothing to do with her and takes away from her fiance. This is why her own mother says that she is “a lot to handle and she will run you over if you let her”. When your own mother says that to national television…there is a problem. Jeremey eventually sees that she is very delusional, drama filled and combative he makes the right choice of leaving her for Sarah-Anne. Laura’s insecurity and lack of trust for her future husband lead to this downfall, she is not a victim but a willing participant to the end of her engagement.
Jimmy and Chelsea
The best example of no victims and only volunteers is Chelsea and Jimmy, who meet in the pods based off a lie. The lie was “most people say I look like Megan Fox” , this could be seen also as a manipulation tactic. Why? Megan Fox is very attractive and most straight (even gay) men would date her, and Chelsea knows this. That is why she told Jimmy that she looks similar to Megan because she knew that Jimmy was split between her and Jessica. Again reaffirming the secondary theme, love is a choice and gathering back to the overall point that love is NOT blind. Jimmy decided to pick Chelsea because she was receptive to him during the pods, she was warm with him unlike Jessica. Again, I believe this was a manipulation tatic because was in direct competition with Jessica. Outside she showed her true nature. Insecure, manipulative, jealous and the definition of a Karen. Instead of calling cops on black men who intimidate her, this Karen accuses Jimmy of things he has never done.
Starting arguments for no reason, seeking attention, validation and even creating lies about Jimmy and Jessica hooking up. Why? Because she is the most toxic person on this show and proved within 5 to 6 episodes why she was divorced. This woman had more red flags than a Chinese flag parade (shouts out CGA) and Jimmy volunteered for this, all the way until the Wedding episode. Chelsea is amazing for reality T.V. because she is delusional, toxic, drama filled, cries to manipulate and starts arguments for no reason. She would be an amazing “Housewife” but the worst possible woman to marry. Within 4 weeks she showed every red flag imaginable and if any man sees this and decides “imma deal with that” he is not a victim either. Jimmy had balls and did the most masculine, real nigga move, he left that toxic bitch woman. My bet is he dates Jessica and becomes a great step father.
Johnny and Amy
These two literally volunteered and said “I chose you” at the alter, they are grown consenting adults who decided to choose marriage. I knew they would stay together because the producers spent the LEAST amount of camera time on them. Why? Because their partnership was boring and the producers couldn’t exploit their drama for views. One of the biggest highlights of the show is Amy seeking the approval and validation of her father, I believe this is a very positive message that is needed in our society. Fathers matter and their opinion of your partner is extremely important, because you are ultimately marrying into the family. Again, no victims here just volunteers.
Clay and A.D.
At this point we need AD to win a citizenship award for her volunteering because she is the biggest volunteer on this entire show. She made MULTIPLE choices this season, the first and most important choice was Clay when she had a vibe with Matthew. In her defence, Matthew was running game by saying the same thing to multiple women so he wasn’t being authentic. Clay was very real and authentic from episode one, he cares about looks, A LOT. Again disproving the title of the show. But guess what? AD does too, she cares a lot about looks. Not just her own, because she keeps in great shape (the most attractive woman on the show) but also…her mans looks. Many times during the show she says how handsome and sexy Clay is, she is very very physically attracted to him. There is nothing wrong with that, the issue arises when she sees red flags, or when people point out potentially red flags (Jeremey saying that Clay has black out introspective moments) she ignores them.
As a 32 year old black woman, I understand why she ignores them. Statistically black women are the least dated and married, which is very sad but very common. Compound that with a biological clock that women deal with…AD follows the trend of most black women, she ignores red flags because of physical attraction. To her this is more than an “experiment” this is a “hail Mary” because Clay is the prize, he fills her check boxes. Clay on the other hands mentions how much internal work he has to do, needing therapy, mentioning cheating and sometimes mentally leaving conversations. He even talks about AD working with him and being patient with him. In the real world, they’d get married after a year or two of dating BUT this show ain’t about taking things slow or being rational about long term decisions. It’s about entertainment. This show is extremely shallow because the two most attractive people got the most air time even though they both knew it wouldn’t work. At a subconscious level AD was a volunteer and she saw every red flag and said “imma keep going”. Clay is a volunteer because got triggered by his father appearing at his wedding. This is why his past family experience to influence his decision to break up with AD. He is not a victim, a 30 year old man with daddy issues is not a victim. He chose to do an experiment that doesn’t fit who he is…or where he is during his life journey. AD is not a victim because Clay told her who he was multiple times. He is a work in progress, so she volunteered to join the process but just like Joel Embiid, this process takes time.
Ultimately that is the core of this show, it is a process. These men and women chose this process, they chose short term courtship and they chose their partner. I am not surprised that the most genuine moments in the show came in the final episode. What did surprise me…was the impact fathers had on the final episode. Clay’s father was the reason he didn’t marry AD, he was scared of repeating his fathers mistakes. Why? Because he looks up to his father but doesn’t want to repeat his mistakes (cheating), which is why he can’t fully leave AD. Instead of breaking up with her, he presses the issue as if he wants to stay with her after breaking her heart. My theory is that Clay takes after his father and does not know how to properly manage long term dating. On the other hand Amy’s father is a fantastic influence on her and reassures her decision to get married to Johnny. His influence is so big that it builds confidence into her marriage. It was subtle but here you have a relationship that focuses on the secondary theme, love is a choice between two adults. Adults are rarely victims, we are often volunteers to our own success and failures.
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